An Outer Sanctum

Contents

ou are at the end of this journey through this manual; we have travelled far together, from the innermost deepest shadowy parts of us, to the physical self that at once defines and translates us to the world, and the people we share it with. In this final chapter, we will continue the discussion of what we can do to protect ourselves from the harm of others, and find a physical, outer sanctum from the world's woes in times of crisis.

Often, we speak of the hurt those closest to us may do, but the interactions with work colleagues, acquaintances, neighbours - or even the passing stranger on the street - can have a strong impact on us. Even taking a step outside into the world can be challenging for some; having to engage with disengagement, or sometimes having to live surrounded by hate and animosity.

These are two very powerful words; it is not with an easy heart I share such words in a manual that aims to bring balance, interconnectedness and love to the self, and to our world at large. But we have to be realistic; accepting the reality of events may also ground us to stabilise our reactions. If you are facing such hostility in your life, it is best to be aware of it, acknowledge it and react accordingly. Having an outer sanctum, a place or a person in which to seek support and solace is indeed one option, but the outer sanctum I speak of here, is once again, yourself.

For instance, as much as we must rely on those agencies established for those of us in need - the mental health services, the police force and even our local council - we must know what we can do when these agencies continue to fail us when we ask them for help. There may be many factors why they fail to help, some reasons will never be known to us. But in these situations, the outer sanctum we seek must be ourselves. In this regard, imagine you are living on a street with severe drug abuse occupants, or you are having disputes with your neighbours who are persecuting you for your own particular beliefs and lifestyle. Surrounded by such hate is not an extreme example by today's standards; many of our communities, tribalised and indifferent to difference, have become fractured in this way. If the police fail us, if the mental health services fail us as we struggle to cope, then what outer sanctum can we find, but ourselves?

What I mean here is, we have more options aside from the obvious: Of creating a safe space in our homes, decorating a certain corner to physically reflect our inner sanctum, for example, or reaching out to like-minded people, family and friends, to vent our frustrations. The first, as we touched on in the previous chapter, is forgiveness. Being at peace with those who have caused our wounds, does not mean we agree with what happened; it means we have acknowledged it and moved on. In life, no one knows the ending of a thing, or how justice may come, whether divine or through the courts, but forgiving harm always benefits those harmed. It is an elevation of our self from the destructive issues at our door, at once creating distance and distinctiveness between us and those who would do us harm.

The second option follows on from this, in that, we need to stay away from toxic people and toxic situations. It is not only because of the harm it can cause us, or the imbalance it causes to our mental stability, but also because of the influence they can exert. Draining, unsupportive, and difficult people are one of life’s greatest challenges. If you are dealing with someone whose behaviour adds negativity and upset to your life, who thrives on creating drama and lacks empathy, who spreads negativity, and drains the energy and happiness of those around them, with a tendency to manipulate or harm others for their gain, then we do not even need the advice of the wisest sages to know we need to stay away from them. It may be difficult not to engage, and to create the necessary distance, but it must be done for our mental well-being.

We can most certainly forgive such individuals, and even try to understand them, displaying the empathy they lack themselves, but that is not a route to have them feature in our lives; it is the very method we must use to get them out of our lives. We may share history, proximity or even the same context, but in the ongoing story of our life, we must remove them both as protagonist and antagonist, and rewrite them as a secondary, unimportant character. They must not have any part in our ongoing story, save to serve as a reminder and warning. This is not merely turning our backs to a toxic individual, it is about facing the reality of a situation.

But what if we cannot limit interaction? In the previous example of a neigbour dispute, what if we are forced to live next door to such a person? Or you have a neighbour with a partner who abuses drugs, and shares all the toxic traits, whilst harbouring animosity towards you, how then do we limit interaction, and deal with it? Our homes should be our outer sanctum, safe places where we are free to live in privacy and peace. What if that is taken from us? This leads us to the third, and most important step: It is vital we learn our own personal ways of learning to live peaceably, side by side, in such a context.

Any negative or destructive action on our part will only aid in damaging our outer sanctum; in other words we destroy what we aim to build by our own actions. We become part of the problem. Thus, continuing to engage with all the agencies placed to help us, despite what we might perceive as their failings towards us, is paramount. We must always seek professional help, if only to safeguard ourselves from becoming part of the toxicity. Then, we look to ourselves, and ask the question, how do we fortify our outer sanctum to be able to pursue an existence of harmony and balance?

Nurture a Belief in Self

It is fair to say that religion, or rather our misguided use of spiritual matters, has been the cause of many of the world's problems. However, in this context, holding fast to our principles and beliefs - even if not religious but humanist - can help us sanctify the spaces we share. This is where religion can help, whether you are a believer, no matter the faith, or a humanist with no belief in a deity apart from the sanctity of life. A principled way of living makes for a strong outer sanctum. To be able to show grace under fire requires it. For each of us, this is possibly the most personal, and private path we must take, as we come to the final paragraphs of this manual.

As guidance here, I can only share my own personal experience and belief, for what it is worth, because everyone must hold fast to their own faith, as it reflects their own, true and authentic sense of self. For me, my belief in Nature, with a capital "N", provides me with my outer sanctum. The world and the miraculous workings of life sustain me: Every living tree, every scent of blossom carried by the breeze, every insect and animal working hard to continue the cycle of life reminds me every day what my beliefs and principles are, and to hold on to them, steadfast. We may find engaging with people difficult, but to shun (certain aspects of) society, is not to shun the true nature of our beautiful planet.

When I wake in the morning and look out of my window, and I see the stirrings of Nature, it fills me with immense joy and security. Recognition of the grace and dignity of the tree, for example, pushes me to emulate it, and also reminds me that we are a community of connection. Joined in an elliptical hoop, from the oceans to our localised waters, from the fertile earth to the sustaining sky, we are all connected by history, proximity and context. We have all been blessed with this space to share, and it is our moral duty to learn how to share, and look after it; this responsibility connects us.

This is a reality we must not only accept, but embrace. All things are connected, like a degree of consanguinity that ties a family, the Earth is in all our veins. The Earth does not belong to us, we are of the Earth, as a child is of their parents. There is no bond of ownership. It is a bond of respect, but it is also one of very real necessity. Climate issues have warned us that whatever befalls the Earth, befalls the children of the Earth. If we neglect the Earth, we neglect ourselves. And caring for our planet instructs us on how to care for ourselves and each other.

In my poetry, I often use nature as a symbolism for human nature: I believe the body is the only real piece of land that we own; it is the only earth that will not outlive us. Our sense of self must be its farmer, if not, we will leave the soil untoiled. Then I ask myself, who is the real farmer of my soul? Whom should I allow to tend its spiritual earth, if I am to reap the abundant harvest of it? If we let others farm our earth, who knows what will grow? I should be that farmer. Especially at the end of my life, when I look back, if opportunity allows, I want to say that the harvest I reaped in life was sown by my own hands. And as I hope this manual has shown, for the farming to bring healthy crops, the mind and body must work together.

Sometimes when we feel betrayed by our mind and body, often in reality, it is our own betrayal of self that comes back to haunt us. Then we just ask our doctors to medicate for the symptoms, without understanding the root cause. The science of medicine understands this: In the Lancet in 1889, English surgeon Stephen Paget published an article describing his seed and soil hypothesis, which is still considered authoritative 120 years later, using gardening as a metaphor for medicine. To continue that analogy, when we get weeds in our earth - illness of any kind - instead of treating the reason for the apearance of that weed, we just pour pesticide on it. And if, at first instance, to kill the weed is a necessity for the garden, because it is completely overgrown, if the treatment is long term, then just pouring weedkiller all over the place will eventually kill the entire garden, too.

Naturally, certain reactions to environmental stress can proufoundly influence the soil, and the same goes for us, too. When toxic people enter our lives, or we find ourselves in a toxic situation, then it will affect us. But the life we currently lead, should not lead us. We can make lifestyle changes: We can all tend to our domain, the mental and physical terrain of our bodies, or neglect it. Weeds spread, a plant does not. If we give the weeds favourable soil, water and sun, then they will develop beyond control, invading flowers, borders, garden paths, until the garden is gone.

Thus, my belief in Nature informs me that we must water the flowers, not the weeds, in our own gardens. When I meditate every morning, and focus on my breath, or in times of stress, to create a space of serenity to calm down, I am focusing on the will of Nature, the will of life. Breath is the very story of our lives, and we must be cognisant of the last one. I am always reminded of the story of the woman on her deathbed, who looks out through a tiny window on to a branch swaying against the sky. She says to her family and companions around her: See that branch blossoming with that tiny shoot? It tells me life goes on. Sometimes just a tiny green shoot on a little branch can give you the feeling of a connection to life. That is the miracle of human existence.

This universal dimension of existence, to know that life is a miracle that goes beyond humanity to all of nature, can be profoundly reassuring in the face of death. Science tells us that the elements of life reach far beyond our planet; for through the Earth, we are connected to the stuff of the cosmos. Elements like hydrogen, carbon, and oxygen are all formed in the bellies of stars. These same elements combine to form the nucleotides in our DNA. In this way, we are made of stardust, and like a dying star, our passing will be a transformation that brings forth life.

The science on Earth reveals the miracles: From the moment the heart stops, our body begins to undergo a series of physical changes that eventually lead to its return to the earth. The entire process is a natural part of the life cycle. While we may no longer be conscious of what is happening to us in our final moments - though our brain is filled with immense electrical activity - nature carries on, following its course. Our bodies, like all living things, eventually return to the earth, enriching the soil and sustaining future life in a never-ending cycle. We are recycled back into the very clay from which we came.

Nurture a Belief in You

The biological processes of death provide an extraordinary and humbling insight into the life cycle itself, not only as a reminder of the impermanence of all things, but as a testament to the permanence of nature. And if human nature informs us correctly that the thing we call a soul is the inner accumulation of each action, each word, each demonstration of love we show to ourselves and others, and Nature instructs us that our bodies are from the raw materials of the stars and nutrients of the earth - then is it not reassuring to believe it is a body and soul that will one day become part of the earth and stars again? Even if only to twinkle in the memory of someone you once loved, and who loved you. It is what makes us live on. And Nature instructs us that our modus operandi is to live on.

Live on we must, for our very nature demands it. Towards that aim we must unite to help the planet recover its balance, while we learn the importance of maintaining balance. We must nurture our wildlife, as we nurture our children. We must also learn how to responsibly use and share finite sources and value them for their function, nor their demand dictated by those whom hoard it. We equate living with making money, but life is too precious to attach a price tag to it. Nature does not put a tollbooth on its resources; we do. We must learn that we need to adopt a more organic way of living in everything, because what is in nature, is in our nature. Our relationships should be more organic; it is not about what we can buy for each other, but what we can do for each other. This is how we raise the value of life, instead of the value of money.

Sometimes a simple touch is worth more than gold. Nature informs us that contact with another living being is very important. Touch is very important. When we feel unwell, the tender and nurturing touch of someone who loves us, can make all the difference. Gently stroking someone's back can do wonders, for example. We have discussed the importance of sensory awareness, and touching is an old way of healing, because through that touch you are saying live. Healing is evoking the will to live in another person; something in touching strengthens the will to live in us. It comes about because the touch is letting another person know that their pain, their suffering and their fear matters. Life heals with physical connections; the science tells us, but Nature shows us this.

Thus, my outer sanctum that gives me strength is our outer sanctum - this planet we call Earth. The goodness and abundance I see in the world - that we all can see as long as we take notice of it - instructs my belief in self; I believe in a principled life based on goodness and kindness, where our vulnerabilities are not there to be taken advantage of, but to be celebrated as markers of survival. This is the very embodiment of nature, for what survives makes the survivor stronger. It brings hope to me when no one or nothing else can. Nature shows me that every challenge is an opportunity for connection, or growth, or silent resistance against toxic elements.

If only we could all see what a beautiful outer sanctum we have been given, just within arm's reach, and to realise that Nature itself is the very instructional manual we need on how to live, care and cater for ourselves and each other, then we would be more protective of it - and of life. I want to end with some advice ny father gave me: It is not what one does inside the four walls of their homes, but what one does outside in the world that should concern others. But I would add, that what we do inside our innermost sanctums should reflect what we do out in the world - so that we may share and spread the joy, compassion and hope we have fostered inside us, and help keep our most precious outer sanctum, a sanctum for all.

Published 26 March, 2026

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