The Secret Stead is the pen name of a UK-based writer and
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e are now over halfway through this manual to an inner sanctum, and we have touched upon the sense of self - the embodiment of our true tenant - how our interconnected senses are the pathways to its home, and how we should nurture and care for it during its tenancy. By merging the wisdom of ancient sages with the modern wisdom of science (and sometimes psuedoscience), and by providing practical tips on caring for the self it is hoped that a more complete guide can emerge; because we cannot discuss the spirit, without talking about matters which pertain to spirituality.It also provides for a balanced view, and in the more esoteric moments in this manual we have talked about how the meaning to our very being arguably is the maintenance of balance. It reminds us that this universal thread runs through all our tapestries, which if pulled out from us can bring its handiwork apart, and that there is a very real form of interconnectedness that runs through the workings of the mind and body, similar to our interpersonal connections with others and the world at large. It affects our engagement with our experiences, and once we unlock the awareness of our senses to these connections, it can ignite the positive charge of self-improvement and to see things in a different light.
This enables us to realise that we see things not as they are, but as we are, because the world is only as beautiful as you are inside. For in this quest of self-discovery, we have come to understand how our root fears and errant beliefs, hiding under our layers of self, are the cause of our physiological and psychological imbalances, which is a wider reflection of the issues our societies suffer with today. The bombardment of fear is a weapon too quickly brandished - from those with political power to those with the largest influence on social media - that has, rather than joining us together in a time of crisis, served to drive us further apart. Our world view has narrowed, to become more tribalistic and extreme, with little, or no tolerance to differences of opinion or the differences of people.
All these are active blocks to building an inner sanctum, but in this manual we have also seen that no mountain is too high that the human spirit cannot scale. In our pursuits of freedom and happiness, and with an emotional guidance system for the soul, we can find a way out - or more appropariately, a way in that connects the mind and body to work in unison, and provides a direct line to our very self that gives us the sense of a human soul.
And if we can hold on to who we truly are in times of crisis, then we will not lose our sense of direction. This is true for everyone, even if your belief system is one that rejects the existence of a soul. Towards the aim of highlighting our interconnectedness, therefore, the use of pronouns have been purposeful in the language of this manual: I have aimed to use the word "we" more than the word "you" as a result. However, in this chapter, and the following two, we shall discuss what it means to be you, and how we may be aware of and ultimately change the inner you, if necessary, to align with your sense of self.
Who Are You?
We know the word "you" as the second person pronoun in the English language, but in this context, we are talking about the "you" that is the physical self. At the core of our existence lies the physical self. This is our body, our "bricks and mortar" home, which holds all our organs and parts that we need to exist in the physical world. It is our immediate presence in the world; the fundamental layer that interacts directly with our environment. It serves as the foundation upon which all other aspects of our identity are built.
As mentioned in a previous chapter, in the theory about the layers of self, it is believed we have our identity, goals, beliefs and experiences all emanating from our physical presence. In its entirety it is called the domain - the "you" that interacts with others and their surroundings. The domain concept thus represents the entirety of your experiences within reality and is a dynamic and evolving entity that continuously interacts with the domains of others. We have been focused on this domain in tbe first half of this manual, because it is our awareness and willingness to connect these layers that so strongly affect our health and wellbeing.
The inner path to the "you" we speak of, therefore, is not the physical self, but the concept of the self and the workings of the mind that the world does not see; as opposed to the physical, it is our "virtual home". It is the inner sanctum we are trying to reach by working from the outside in. This "inner you" is simultaneously both the fulcrum and axis within our physical self, and helps to form all the other layers of self to form our outer domain. Why both? A fulcrum is the point where pressure causes movement or change, while an axis is a stable center around which things rotate. Together, they represent the dynamic between change and stability in stories and life. How we react to events, past, present and still to come to maintain our spiritual balance is intially locked within our mind, what we call here, the inner you.
The complexities of the mind, and the current scientific research that is being published to gain greater insights into the workings of the brain, is far outside the remit of this manual. But within our limited understanding of the mind, it is thought that there are three states of decision-making and thought: In our waking conscious lies the rational mind, while just below this local awareness in our subconsciousnes lies the emotional mind, with an integration of both described as the wise mind. Let us briefly go through these three states, and what they are believed to entail, to better understand them.
- A rational mind, also known as the reasonable mind, guides us into thinking over a situation clearly without feelings getting in the way. It is a mind that is able to perceive and appreciate the pure principles of things actualised in the existing universe, coordinated with rational principles, so that it can comprehend not only intellectual and moral thought, as related and actualised in things; but it can originate thought, establishing other rational principles. However, while rational thinking often leads to accurate and correct decisions, it does not always lead to making wise choices - especially when emotions, values, and intuition are ignored.
- An emotional mindset is a state of mind in which emotions and feelings are more dominant than logical thought and reasoning, the opposite of the cool logic of rational thinking. The emotional mind is said to be responsible for creative aspects such as poetry, music and the arts; it is the passionate side of the mind. But an emotional mindset is often viewed negatively and carries social disadvantages, because our emotional reason is responsible for feelings such as love, fear and anger, which may unduly influence us into making rash decisions. For example, quitting a job impulsively due to feeling unappreciated, without considering financial stability or future employment.
- The integration of both these recognised states has been termed as the "Wise Mind". This state of mind is neither emotionless, nor overly analytical. Instead, it reflects a deep inner knowing - a sense of what feels right and makes sense at the same time. An example of a wise mind is when people combine their emotional and rational minds to make decisions grounded in logic and aligned with their values, beliefs, and intuition. Consider someone evaluating a job offer, they may use their rational mind to evaluate the salary, benefits, and job requirements, but they may also tap into their emotional mind to consider how the job aligns with their passions, career goals, and personal values. They may also listen to their intuition or gut feelings to make the right decision. In this case, the person is using their wise mind to make a logical and authentic decision to their personal values and beliefs.
Achieving a harmonious balance between the emotional mind and the rational mind can be a challenging endeavour for many individuals. Many people are naturally inclined towards either the emotional reactivity, or rely heavily on their analytical, logical faculties. Emotional and rational minds can feel contradictory; one is driven by feelings, the other by facts. This internal conflict often leads to confusion, self-doubt, or extreme decision-making patterns.
But everything we have discussed throughout this manual over the importance of an inner sanctum will help us to gain the wisdom necessary. As we have seen with sensory awareness, and the mind-body connection, finding and maintaining a universal balance requires a union through interconnectedness. Therefore, the key is not in choosing one mind state over the other when needed, but learning to access the wise mind, where both perspectives co-exist, during all challenges that will come our way.
Ultimately, the goal of the mindfulness-based approaches we have discussed in other chapters is to foster a harmonious relationship between emotion and reason, allowing the wise mind to guide behaviour with clarity, empathy, and balance. True psychological growth does not come from suppressing emotions or relying solely on logic. It comes from learning to listen to both, and choosing the path guided by wisdom; this is done from an inner sanctum, where your feelings and your intuition are all aligned, and you know who you are, and what makes you happy.
You: The Path to Wisdom
Alongside these scientific and psychological concepts, there is said to be observed brain states of a waking and dreaming consciousness; the waking state of the conscious and subconscious mind, and the dreaming consciousness of the unconscious mind. While many founding theories have been discredited, starting with Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, dreams have always been considered a core source of information for psychoanalysis within the unconscious mind. Nowadays, neuroscientific findings together with contemporary psychoanalysis suggest that dreams are related to the sense of self and serve the purpose of re-integrating and re-structuring the integrity of the psyche, and it is the unconscious mind that is being re-evaluated, i.e., divided into a repressed (left hemisphere) and an unrepressed (right hemisphere of the brain) unconsciousness.
Mental health research is now asking, what kind of dreams for which unconsciousness? Although it is still subject to significant debate, it is thought that unrepressed dreams help us to make sense out of daily events - to process what we have noted consciously and subconsciously. If true, understanding our dreams, or using them as a guide, can help us to better connect with our feelings and sense of self. However, in the repressed unconscious mind there is believed to be, what has been termed in psychoanalytical circles as, a "shadow self". This "shadow self," a concept introduced by Jung, refers to the unconscious parts of our personality that we reject or deny, often because they conflict with our ideal self-image. It is believed that by acknowledging and integrating these aspects, it can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
This suggests that the inner path to you comes by accepting all aspects of the self; if you deny any part of who you really are, you cannot find a true inner sanctum to bring and maintain a universal balance in your life. Therefore, discovering your repressed self will be one path to a wise mind. But those things that are repressed in our unconsciousness are for a reason, and it is best you enlighten yourself with the information in the first half of this manual, before facing your shadow self, because at its core it represents the parts of ourselves we reject or dislike.
This deeply ingrained aspect of the human psyche consists of the aspects of ourselves that we suppress, whether due to societal expectations, personal shame, or past experiences. We have touched upon this in other chapters, but the issues suggested here are ones we cannot be aware of, or even bring up from the subconscious. Yet, when left unattended, it is believed the shadow grows stronger, often influencing our behaviour in ways we do not consciously recognise. For example, someone struggling with addiction may feel deep shame about their reliance on substances. This shame, instead of preventing addiction, can actually reinforce it, driving them to seek comfort in the very behaviours they are trying to escape.
Thus, integration of the shadow is essential for achieving personal wholeness. When we consciously acknowledge and engage with our shadow, we gain the ability to respond to our emotions and impulses in a healthier way, and promote a path to a wise mind. This is not easy, and is best done with a therapist and guided counsel, but there are ways given to help us bring these repressed issues from the unconscious to our awareness, so that we may deal with them accordingly. If we talk of interconnectedness, then we must connect with all parts of ourself, awake, asleep and in the shadow, to truly be whole.
We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate; it oppresses.
Carl Jung, Psychoanalyst
The shadow often develops as an adaptive response to our environment. As children, we may hide certain aspects of ourselves because they were rejected by our parents, peers, or society. Perhaps a child was shamed for being emotional, so they learned to suppress their feelings. Maybe a teenager was bullied for being different, so they adapted their self-image to fit in. Over time, we construct a "persona" - a socially acceptable mask that protects us from rejection. However, this comes at a cost. The more we suppress our true selves, the more disconnected we become from our authentic nature. When the persona becomes too rigid, the shadow grows stronger and can emerge in unhealthy ways - like sudden emotional outbursts, self-sabotage, or projecting negative traits onto others.
Therapy comes in the form of "shadow work", which means adopting methods to uncover and then integrate the shadow, making us more authentic and whole rather than trapped in a false persona. To achieve this true transformation, we must first begin with radical self-acceptance. If we want to change, we must acknowledge and embrace who we are, flaws and all, because if left unexamined, your shadow can control your behaviour in unconscious ways. Once aware, however, by practicing self-compassion, identifying your shadow, and moving beyond the persona, you can break free from unhelpful patterns and achieve a deeper sense of authenticity. Analysing your dreams and journaling them will help, and all the methods discussed so far to bring greater awareness can all help to identify what lies in your repressed unconsciousness.
Keep in mind that there will always be aspects of ourselves that challenge us. Embrace it. The key is to approach them with curiosity instead of judgement, and compassion instead of criticism. It is just one more path to wisdom on the journey of self-discovery; true healing begins when we accept ourselves in our entirety, the light and dark, our strengths and vulnerabilities. When we stop rejecting parts of who we are, we move toward wholeness. In this regard, the ancient sages tell us to seek the most difficult path to fully align our physical and inner self, and in doing so, earn our wisdom. For the wisdom earned is this: That all paths lead to your inner sanctum, as long as you are the true tenant of the body you call home.
Published 22 March, 2026
