Ode to the Ant

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1 -

I fell in love with you when I knew,

it was the timing that was disconcerting
than the question itself
or love's inconsideration.
It had been a quiet moment,
but I'd thought, surely
when I discovered you
there'd be some grand trumpet to sound
this most important event.
But there was no sound.
Except for your fingers combing through your hair,
and the sound of us
trying to rein in our breathing;
no one had spoken, only the voice

of one becoming two;

2 -

in that instant when I knew,

as we lay side by side with the moonlight,
you had gently moved your feet
to give some insect
its own right of way,
and I thought you would look at me,
as though I were crazy,
to need some small ant
to tell me I had finally found you;
or how I knew when
suddenly everything else
would be completely erased
from my memory
but that memory of you would stay;
how your skin still silken
from my own combing of you
had shone bright all around you;
while you gently
moved a foot to give way

to an ant crawling by.

3 -

When you turned round I knew

and with one look
made me feel as though
I could never be alone again;
filled with so much kindness
even to the small,
even to the wretched;
even to invite me
in from the war of the cold
to share the humanity in family;
to hold me as close
as a mother to a child, to sustain me
like a wife with child,
or like a husband; a father
of touch that is the provider
of a table that fills the belly
of his hungry loved ones;
more than the curve of touching skin,

your touch warmed me as the Sun;

4 -

and in your very voice I knew;

which would speak to always
make the empty in me
feel full; and the way your words would turn
troubles into a chance to share
playful laughter; throwing out the trash
in my heart to make it lighter;
the heart was always kinder
with your lullaby whisper;
your watchful gaze of desire,
or your grace in pain
and your indignity, too,
feelings that yield
freely to another;
but become stronger
in themselves when shared
with that significant other,
and I always wonder
could it have been
at any time, from the countless
moments that accumulated,
could it have been
any one of your attributes

when I knew I loved you?

5 -

But I knew what I'd found in you

would be in each memory
built in your honour
a tribute to live on in the heart
of more than the ant and his sweetheart,
because we had taken and given
all we had with love,
even if we were to part
there would be no loser
except the time apart,
and even if we died before we had lived,
even if we never lived after that moment,
I knew somewhere inside
you would always live
until the very breath of me;
and from that moment, as your presence,
you would always breathe inside my body.
As though every night it was you
who entered me to plant the seeds
that will live as we sow;
as now I keep you where
I keep my words in tow;
the more they give, the more

I grow in memory of you.

Published 28 May, 2026

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